“All day I think about it, then at night I say it. Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing? I have no idea. My soul is from elsewhere, I’m sure of that, And I intend to end up there.”
I am sure you must have asked yourself these questions. I have. Many times. Big questions. And a hint of an answer:
Mantras are a powerful tool to raise your vibration. I use them on a daily basis to connect with myself and surrender to the higher.
The beauty of Sanskrit mantras
I personally like to chant Sanskrit mantras. The beauty of Sanskrit mantras is, that the meaning and the vibration of words are interconnected. This means that by for example repeating the mantra “om namah shivaya”, which can be roughly translated with “my salutations to Shiva, the auspicious and gracious one” or “I bow to Shiva”, we do not only salute Shiva with words but also (and more importantly) create a vibration that holds the energy of Shiva.
When I started to turn my attention inward and began to study my thoughts, patterns and belief systems I realised that I am afraid of my own light and power. And I discovered the uncountable tools and mechanisms that I have – unconsciously – established in order to make sure that I keep myself small. Marianne Williamson puts in her poem “our deepest fear” so beautifully into words what I discovered.
How my depressive episodes influence my relationship
Yesterday I had to realise how deeply my depressive episodes influence my relationship. My boyfriend told me how it feels to be around me when I am in a depressive episode and it broke my heart. He sees me disappearing into the dark cloud and what stays behind is a version of me where no life force resides. This version is cold, distant, quickly angry and dominant.